dichroic | the heirs of Swift

That might be the most heartbreaking Onion headline ever: Proposed Bill Would Bring 4,000 Troops Back To Life

Congress is also expected to begin drafting legislation that would completely heal all 28,385 wounded U.S. soldiers. If passed into law, any troops who have lost limbs to amputation, infection, or car-bomb explosions can expect their arms and legs to grow back within six months. In addition, the bill would guarantee that those suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder will not have post-traumatic stress disorder anymore.

I think they missed the full effect though; there was nothing in the article about the political pros and cons of bringing back Iraqi civilians.